The Road Diet

After reading Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, I’ve been inspired to write a diet book called “The Road Diet.” I’m dabbling with the first draft. It’s a post-apocalyptic diet based largely on the protagonists’ subsistence foraging. No, there’s not going to be any cannibalism, at least until week 30. Everything should be easy to acquire for under $5 a week, which is easily affordable for Oprah book club members. Expect to lose weight!

Here’s a sample week:

Day One

  • Breakfast: 4 fried corn meal patties, each made from 2 tablespoons of corn meal mixed with pork fat skimmed from a can of pork and beans.
  • Lunch: water
  • Dinner: 1 can of pork and beans heated in the can and 2 desiccated apples for dessert

Day Two

  • Breakfast: 6 peanuts and 4 leftover corn meal patties
  • Lunch: 1 package of grape juice mix crystals
  • Dinner: 1 can of Libby’s green peas

Day Three

  • Breakfast: water
  • Lunch: water
  • Dinner: 1 boiled leather watch strap

Day Four

  • Breakfast: water
  • Lunch: water
  • Dinner: water

Day Five

  • Breakfast: 1 handful of dusty barley seeds
  • Lunch: water
  • Dinner: water

Day Six

  • Breakfast: water
  • Lunch: water
  • Dinner: 1/2 can of corned beef hash, 3 cans of Libby’s peas, 1 can of pears for dessert

Day Seven

  • Breakfast: Navy bean soup (1 can of tomato paste, water, 33 navy beans)
  • Lunch: water
  • Dinner: 1/2 can of corned beef hash

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